“Hiiiii! Hiiii!!! Hiiii!!!!”
The little voice floats out and up
into the blue hazy sky, calling me? I did notice them. The Fitness Family. Dad
pushing the jogging stroller in front of him, his lean tan legs effortless in
their movement forward. Mom, ponytail swinging out of the back of her baseball
cap, jogging dog at her side, leashed and obedient. She’s keeping pace with
Dad, but I can tell it’s an effort.
And baby?
I never see
baby. Ensconced in the jogging stroller. But Baby musta seen me. “Hiiiii!
Hiiiiii!!!” The greeting is insistent. Demanding attention. As babies do. So, I
play along, “Hiiii!” I sing back, “Hiiii!” baby sings to me. “Hiiiii!” I start
to laugh. Dad and Mom keep on moving. They’re not stopping to talk to anyone.
They’re on a fitness mission. Running off the baby fat for mom. Out of the ZOOM
office for dad. The dog eager for his morning jog.
And baby?
He’s just along for the ride.
I have to
say there would be something to be said for this. I wouldn’t mind if some
handsome dad was pushing me along in a jogging stroller. I’d just lie there and
stare up at the clouds floating in the sky. Call out to strangers walking on
the sidewalk. Safe and secure in my little moving world.
Unlike my
reality. Not safe or secure at all. Why is this? I am just walking around the
neighborhood. But I always run into some hazard. A near miss with a speeding
car at the corner of Garvin and 30th street. A stray dog running at
me, barking and snarling. A strange person hailing me from afar, wanting
something from me: peanut butter, the time of day, a kiss.
The
pandemic pacings are fraught. And, as this Fitness Family jogs by, the baby now
calling out “Bye!!! Bye!!!! Bye!!!!”, are smug in their nuclear world. Jogging
down the middle of the street. No worries about a car running them down. Why is
this? I guess they are obvious. It’s not like the driver of the car would miss
seeing them. Yet, I think how entitled this is. That the Fitness Family gets
the run of the entire street, while anytime I walk in the street, I risk my
life. The drivers never seem to see me even though I think how could they miss me?
With my bright turquoise sun hat and red ear muffs and stalk of blond hair
sticking up into the stratosphere.
Yet, I am invisible most of the time. It’s the middle-aged lady thing. I’d heard of it all my life and had never understood, but now I get it. Middle-aged women are completely dismissed in our culture. If you’re not young and beautiful, forget it. You don’t matter. If you walk in the middle of the street, well, you deserve to get mowed down.
Besides,
who would mow down a baby?
I might.
Just
kidding. Kinda....
As the
family jogs across Clinton, of course not pausing let alone stopping to see if
there’s any traffic headed their way, I watch their easy, relentless push
forward. They are so sure, so fearless, so Family.
A couple of red-breasted cuties sing out to me as I pause to let a car go by at Clinton. I wave ‘bye’ to the birds as I step off the curb. Another pandemic pacing Saturday. I pull my mask over my mouth and nose as another walker heads toward me on the sidewalk. She heads into the street, giving me the sidewalk.
Well,
someone saw me. We wave and we walk on. The sun on my back, the breeze behind
me, the baby way ahead of me.
I’m
suddenly so tired. It’s been a hell of a week. I’m thankful it’s Saturday. And
for the baby. Whose hi hi hi song has brightened my day. Another surprise for me on my Pandemic Pacing.
