A Moment of Ecstasy

My sweatshirt smells of the sea! Delicious. Intoxicating. Impossible?

I had thought so. The San Francisco Bay is way too cold for me to dive in, right? But then, on Sunday afternoon, Mr. Ian and I took a walk on Alameda beach. I took my shoes off and tested the water. “Hey, it’s not so bad!” I exclaimed. Maybe I can swim!

            I glanced around at the beach. It’s teaming with people, very few of whom are wearing masks, but I suppose since we’re all outside, it’s okay? People are sick of it. I know I am. I just want everything to go back to ‘normal’ but realize, at this point, they won’t. Hence my flirtation with the idea of swimming in the bay. The pools' opening seem a LONG way off and when they do, as A, a fellow swimmer at Hilltop, had said, “Oh, Carol, you will not like it. If you are a worrier. You will not be happy.”
            I think she’s right.

            So, I had brought my swim stuff this afternoon. But….even though the water felt inviting, I was leery of all the parachuter guys racing through the water at 75 miles an hour. If they didn’t see a swimmer, whoops! That’d be that.

            I noted one swimmer with a lime green floaty buoy attached to her feet. This might help. She also had a bright pink cap. Again, this might help. But if the wind guy didn’t see her in time, would he be able to steer away? Would he be able to stop? I was doubtful. Plus the water was very choppy. The wind had kicked up in the afternoon and while I’ve swam in choppy water before, it’s not ideal.

            I walked along the shore, enjoying the sea, when all of a sudden,  my foot gave way. I was up to my left knee in a deep hidden sandy hole. A sinkhole? What the hell! “Ian, help!”

            He pulled me up, and out. What had happened. “That’s so weird!” I exclaimed, trying to get all the wet sand off my leg, past my knee.

            “Yeah, it was like quicksand,” Ian noted.

            I shook my head. Damn! I’m sick of walking! Another reason to get into the sea.

            Now I was really motivated to swim! “We could come back tomorrow morning,” I say to Mr. Ian. “I bet there won’t be as many parachute guys and the wind will be calmer too.”

            “Sure, we can do that,” he agrees, making way for a Parachute Guy toting his huge purple and lime green wings on the beach.

            “You guys go ahead,” Parachute Guy said, stopping to let us pass.

            “That’s one way to maintain social distance!” Ian jokes.

            We all laugh, yet, I still feel like everyone is just out for a normal day on the beach. All the families with radios, umbrellas, screaming kids, beers in hand, laughing and chatting. It all made me uncomfortable. No one was really paying attention to social distancing. The pandemic wasn't real here. 

            Tomorrow would be calmer. It was a Monday and I was sure that all of these crowds would be gone.

            And they were. We arrived around 10 am, and the parking lot for Crown Memorial Beach was empty. Lugging all my crap out of the car (I’d forgotten how much gear it takes to swim!), my excitement at the prospect of a swim was spine tingling. The sky and the sea were grey and calm, with a few people on the beach, but only one swimmer in the sea. Was it the same one as the afternoon before? She had a lime green buoy. And she was moving at a stately pace parallel to the shore. Wasn’t she cold? She wasn’t wearing a wet suit.

            I, on the other hand, was decked out in my ‘cat suit’----black swim pants, black long sleeved rash guard. My fuchsia cap on, my fins in hand, I ran down to the water. Put my foot in as Mr. Ian watched, grinning. “Damn! It’s cold!” I screamed, laughing.

            He stuck his feet in, “Yeah, it is.”

            “I think it’s colder than yesterday.”

            “Maybe.”

            I was committed now, though. And hanging on to Ian, I put my fins on, then backed into the frigid bay. Was I insane? What the hell was I doing? My legs stung at the icy temperature, but then I started laughing. Turned and dove in.

            Oh my! What a wonder! I was swimming. I was floating. I was moving through water.

            I was home!

            As I swam out into the grey bay, its surface a perfect glassiness, I turned on my back. A pair of sea birds, silver and white, streaked above me. The high clouds floated serenely over me, a subtle sky by Turner. I remembered how much I love swimming in the sea, being outdoors in the water. Sure it wasn’t Waikiki, but hell, Alameda wasn’t bad.

            It was a Moment of Ecstasy, swimming again after 91 days on land.

            I turned over and began swimming freestyle, my arms pulling through the murky browny sand water. Then when I tired, I turned back on my back, stroked a few times. I repeated this routine till I reached the breakwater at the end of the beach, then realized that the water was hella shallow. I could almost scrape my hands on the sandy bottom. So I turned around and swam back, now feeling both tired and cold.

            I could have stood up at any time though, so I wasn’t worried about getting too tired. I did make it back to Ian, who stood at the ready with a towel for me. “How long was I in?” I asked, breathless and jubilant, but starting to shiver.

            “You were in for 20 minutes. You could do another lap.”

            “Nah, I’m too cold now. I need to get out, dry off, get warm. Ian! I swam!!!!”

            My moment of ecstasy had passed and reality had set in. As I hurried to the car, trying to get out of my wet suit as I walked, I grinned to myself. I did it. I swam!

                        I hugged my red sweatshirt to my ribs, drinking in the intoxicating scent of the sea. Ahhh…. What a delicious feeling. What a wonderful day. When could I come back?

            I sure won’t wait another 91 days!